By conservative count, I would have died three times in my 45 years had it not been for modern medical intervention. Plus, one could make strong arguments that I would have died two more times if the failing medical procedures I was undergoing weren’t curtailed precisely when they were. Perhaps, I should have died five times by now.

During my first encounter with my mortality, I was two years old and lost my left eye to a rare form of cancer. I was probably too young to sense any loss. Instead, I gained two things I attribute to this experience: an appreciation for life, and a voice in my head that played throughout my youth. The voice strongly suggested that I “do things differently this time.”

“ Differently,” seemed to mean I should choose my own path through life and not submit to someone else’s expectations – in other words, I should be my own boss. But, I never understood what “this time” referred to, until now.

I used to think that “this time” hinted at other lives, at reincarnation. Now, I see that “this time” signals my chance to live again right now in this life – my next breath, my next hug, my next sunrise – which is this second, today, every day.

It wasn’t until my adult years that I realized I viewed life differently from others, that every day held a wonder for me that others didn’t necessarily appreciate. I have since learned that surviving a deadly disease can give you this perspective, though most people don’t encounter cancer until they are adults. Instead, I had the advantage of growing up with this enchanted perspective and formed my life around it.

Now, I recognize the INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE of my 45th year as my “master’s degree in the meaning of life.” I got to apply what I had learned in my “undergrad” lessons as a youngster and see how soundly they stood up. The result: they worked miraculously.

I witnessed extraordinary scenes during my INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE. I was stripped to an emotional rawness and taken on a journey that is seldom encountered in our modern lives. I was on a solo trip that revealed universal experiences. It was rarely fun, but from the outset I made a conscious decision to appreciate every bit of it. I sought to learn whatever it could teach me. What I was shown astonished me.

Since my accident, many people have told me that everything happens for a reason. I don’t believe this at all, because that statement presumes that life is rooted in rational thought. There are so many more magical forces at work in this world than reason. I know this for fact. And I have only glimpsed them.

Jay Asquini